While I was on my way to New York
First up is the Wish Wrap. For a measly $38.99, you too can write stupid shit on a piece of paper and stick it in your “Wish Pocket.” The Wish Wrap “features a pocket that lets you carry around your fondest wishes wherever you go.” SkyMall states that you can wear your Wish Wrap at home OR on the town… so if your wish is to look like an asshole then this is the gift for you! Wish wraps: The Snuggie’s redheaded stepchild.
Do you have that special man in your life that forgets to take care of himself in the shower and is too lazy to reach under his towel? Don’t we all?! Fear not, I’ve got the perfect gift for you, the Men’s Genuine Turkish Wrap. This is the gift that keeps on giving! And for only $34.99, you can’t beat that.
Here we have the Ear Spy for $99.99. Disguised as an innocuous pen holder, the special jackass in your life can now spy on his co-workers from the comfort of his cubicle. This fine piece of equipment has a 1 year replacement fee of $9.99 or a 2 year of $14.99 just in case it takes you longer than 2 years to figure out that you just dropped a Benjamin on a fucking DIXIECUP pen holder.
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This year a Cabbage Patch Kid just isn’t gonna cut it so I’ve upped the ante for you. For a whopping $99.99, exclusively from The Ashton-Drake Galleries (they’re so legit) you can have a real fake baby. And this fake baby is a collectable. Do you know what that means? That means one day you can have a whole collection of fake babies!!! Weeeeeeeeeeee!
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Just take a look at this gorgeous, pink, mouth watering, finger-licking-good, hunk of… oh wait, that’s a ham? Oh, right, right. Spiral City Sliced Ham. $34.00. Sky Mall. Ham. Yeah.
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Wine Glass Holder Necklace Thingy - $24.99
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When you’ve got one hand in your Wish Pocket and the other in your Turkish pocket, how are you gonna hold your booze? Boy do I have the solution for you! This fancy schmancey wine holder necklace thingy is perfect for those who just need a drink hanging around their neck.
Welp, that about wraps up my holiday gift giving guide. You're welcome.
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lylys
2 comments:
What a sweet little blog, sounds crazy out east, ROck On!
Do know I got one of those classy wine glass holder necklaces for Christmas!!! Yes I love wine but not enough to wear it around my neck ;) Hahha.
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