Bathroom Confessions?

Dear Jamie Lee Curtis,

I applaud your ability and appreciate your candor to speak freely about your bowel movements (or lack thereof.) However, with all due respect, you do get paid to do so. I have a hard time understanding your audacity to ask other members of the general public to “film themselves taking the Activia Challenge,” especially for no compensation whatsoever, not even a year's supply of the probiotic miracle you endorse.

I would find it a personal struggle to do a commercial for a feminine hygiene product, even more so an embarrassing Valtrex ad, or perhaps an awkward KY commercial; but for the right price, I could most likely be convinced. But Jamie Lee, you are asking innocent, constipated commoners to document their stifling fecal problems for the benefit of a YOGURT company? And for FREE? Really Jamie, really?

And to those few willing participants, if you’re really that impressed with your new-found “freedom,” write a fucking letter for crying out loud!  You're probably irregular because you're stressed out about being a MORON all the time.  Stop taping yourselves in the bathroom!  The toilet is not a confessional, people!  If you think this is your five minutes of fame you're sadly mistaken. Your "five minutes of fame" just made you the laughing stock of the entire, "regular" free world!  I'm embarrassed for you!  Listen, no one gives a shit that you eat some "tasty" yogurt on the daily and now you’re taking deuces left and right… and when I say nobody, I mean NOBODY!   Think about it!

Personally, I prefer my yogurt not to be engineered in a laboratory, probably somewhere in Stockholm, that was most likely tested on animals. Just give me a fucking parfait and call it a day. I’ll go when I have to go and I sure as shit ain’t telling YOU all about it!

Click here to view the REAL clowns who documented their REAL stories

lylys