I’d have to say one of the biggest perks about being a broad is the opportunity to carry a purse, by far one of the greatest things that a girl can have. I’m almost positive the purse was invented by a really hungry gal because I’m certain the purse’s original function was to serve as a convenient hiding place for snacks. The size of my purse is directly related to how hungry I am. A purse is also a powerful weapon. I’ve been in a few impervious street fights in my day where I have had to punish some pretty hard core ninjas and my bag was the sole reason for my victories. The purse also serves as a magical “in case of emergency” goody bag. I have things in my purse that could turn me into MacGyver in two shakes of a little lamb’s tail. You just never know when a monocle, a Thigh Master, Mexican Jumping Beans and a stick of dynamite are gonna come in handy.
Another stupendous thing about being a lady is the option to change your entire fucking identity with make up. I could literally go into the witness protection program in an hour without changing anything but my name and my eyeshadow, literally. And when a dude gets a zit, his only option is to commit himself to solitary confinement and splatter Noxema all over his face; when I get a blemish, that is a confidentiality agreement between me and my concealer that has never been breached. See? Fucking rocks being a chick!
Know what else is great about having a hoo ha? It means I have options. I can choose to be the 5’ 2” short stack that I am (and I like it down here,) or be anywhere between 1 to 6 inches higher up. You catch a bro with options like that you better hope you’re at Barnum and Baily’s.
Really, the only thing I think dudes have that are cooler then girls are those short cut underwear, ya know the one’s with a slide to the side that allows for quicker urination. Not that I would choose to wear underwear like that if they made them for females, but just knowing I have the option would be nice.
Deep thoughts today. lylys
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